Hey Subconscious, WTF?

Last night I had a dream.  Sure, we all dream every night, so this alone is not a significant fact or even an interesting blog, except when looking at the content.  Last night's dream is mostly hazy, except for this crystal clear bit.

I was shopping in a mall, when I came across a toy.  She was the latest from the "Pretty Little Princess" line.  About the size of a Care Bear, with a face reminiscent of a Fraggle (and if you don't know what either of those is, fuck off... you are clearly too young to be reading this blog.)   She was a beautiful blend of lavender and teal. 

Her name was "Princess Battle Sword" and she came with a purple plastic long sword strapped in a sheath on her back.   You could put back her arm (oddly enough, she was a lefty) over her head and her built-to-grip soft plastic hand would click into place around the hilt of the sword.  Then with a press of a button, her arm would thrust forward, unsheathing the sword and holding it aloft as her little song played. 

"You must die

Die on your sword.

Glory in the battle

is the highest reward

You can kill

for what you believe.

Honor, Might &  Power

are what you must achieve."

(it's a catchy little tune.  I awoke singing it.  Am singing it still, disturbing as it is.)

I also remember noting on the box, that she was "For Children, 3 - 6yrs."

WFT, night brain?  No, seriously.... What.The.Fuck?

Do you think they meant that?

Let me get this straight... This is a diner wherein I can only get breakfast and lunch? Is it safe to assume that they close too early for me to go in and purchase any sort of dinner?

Or could it be that this is a case of not proofreading that sign order closely enough?



P.S. They were closed up tight at 11:30am, so clearly breakfast wasn't an available option today. Which reduces their wares to lunch only. Hrmmm, that seems pretty boutique for a NoHo eatery.

Simple Math Problem

Shimmery Vanilla Lotion + Black Pants = Bad Idea/Sparkly Butt

Lemme hear ya Witness!

My downstairs neighbor is apparently a very religious man, who likes to start the morning uplifted in ecstatic prayer.

At least, that's what I'm guessing..... from the number of times he called out his savior's name at 6am this morning.


"Oh god.. oh god... oh my god... jesus... oh... oh god... oh god..OMyGod.. oh god JEEZUS CHRIST... oh ... oh GOD O. MY. GOD"


Amen, Brother.