My gods, beautiful, how I miss you. The smell and sound of you. The calm and endless love you surround me with. Beautiful lover, how am I surviving the days so far from your embrace?
Remember our cold mornings together? Chilled in the early air, I lay there, wrapped in blankets while you crashed sweet nothings in my ear, the taste of you still on my lips, salty and raw. I want to take you into me, know you intimately, feel your timeless tug and surge and relentless pounding rhythm. You are sex and life and fierce endless force. You are the edges of the earth, the blue along the horizon, the home of long ago dragons. You are everything and I am lost so far from you.
Inside you is everything I hold most dear and in your presence I can be nothing but honestly myself, weeping, laughing, struggling, floating. With you, I am buoyed up, sucked under, alive and encircled and whole. I never know how to give back to you all you offer me. I never know how to show my passions for you completely. I feel like a poser, a poor and unimaginative lover who gives meaningless chocolates at Valentine's day and forgets to gift you with daily gestures of my deeper heart. And yet, never have I felt you faulted me for that. Never have I left our time together feeling ashamed or incomplete or incompetent. Always you gift me with your confidence, your strength, your love. Always you leave me feeling whole and alive. You are my greatest lover.
If I could, I would throw myself into your arms, tangle myself in your kelp beds like a disoriented otter, until each inch of my body was wrapped in your sinewy embrace, and there, blue faced, smothered in passion, I would gladly breathe my last. I want to drown in you.
Without you, life is tasteless, save for the tracks of salt tears leave as they roll across my lips. I miss you.
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