Sunday Scribblings: Secret Identity

He’s saving lives, I know he is.

He wouldn’t want you to know it of course, and I’m probably breaking several International treaties by mentioning it at all, but I don’t want him to be so misunderstood.

I’d like to say he uses his powers only for good. I’m sure all mothers would. But I can’t promise you what I don’t know. He slips away, through a rip in the fabric of time and space. He vanishes without a trace and you can turn the whole house upside down and never find him. But hours later, he comes sauntering out of a room you’ve checked a dozen times and he flops across the green plush sack, exhausted with a long day’s work.

Mind you, no matter how relaxed he seems, he’s never unaware. Let a strange set of footsteps sound on the stairs outside the apartment, and he’s 2 feet in the air and then POOF, only a cloud of well shed hair appears in the space he once occupied.

Friends jokingly call him “Snuffilupugus” because only Tag and I can ever see him, but I swear he’s real…. And so much more than a mere house cat. He’s Double-O Dobby, secret agent…. And somewhere right now, he’s sipping a dry martini and saving the world.

(see the tiny eyes in the dark... that's him)

Banditos For Peace

Today, I'm working a half day (joy!), after which I will drag myself over to the Westside to get my hairs did (more joy!) Post salon, I will drive down for a 2 hours session of Kundalini Yoga at the studio.

However my Saturday will not be nearly as lush.... as Tag and I will be participating in the "DisplaceMe" event sponsered by Invisible Children. IC is a grassroots organization, who with their film (of the same name) brought to light the plight of Ungandan children (known as "night commuters") who flee their villages at night in order to avoid being pressed into service as a soldier in the Lord's Resistance Army.

13 different cities across the US and over 61,000 people are participating in the Displacement (6,248 in Los Angeles alone).

Wanna spend your Saturday night making new friends, creating a community of people who care? Then please, come join us!

Taking Action

WHAT IS DENIM DAY IN LA?

In 1999 an Italian Supreme Court decision overturned a rape conviction because the victim wore jeans. The justices stated that the victim must have helped her attacker remove her jeans, from which they inferred consent. People all over the world were outraged. Wearing jeans became an international symbol of protest against erroneous and destructive attitudes about sexual assault. The Denim Day in L.A. protests here in Los Angeles, spearheaded by Peace Over Violence (formerly the Los Angeles Commission on Assaults Against Women), have evolved into an annual county-wide, highly publicized rape prevention education campaign.

Last year, over 250,000 individuals, 400 organizations and businesses and 49 cities in Los Angeles County signed up to support Denim Day in L.A. Thousands of men, women and youth wore jeans, posted rape prevention education materials, supported prevention programs by donating to the Dollars For Denim campaign and talked with friends and colleagues about rape myths and realities.

Even if you aren't wearing jeans today, or you don't live in Los Angeles... you can still make a difference.

There is no excuse and never an invitiation to rape.

Help Stop the Violence!

Toxic Tantrum

Tag and I have begun a month long detox. The 30 days are broken into 10 day segments, each with their own purpose, and thus their own dietary guidelines. However, for the entire 30 days some rules stand fast: No MSG, No High Fructose Corn Syrup, No Hydrogenated Oils. That’s all well and good. I can deal with all those. But there a few other policies in place for the long haul that are killing me. Those include: No Meat, No Dairy, No Sugars, No Alcohol. In short, the 4 staples of my diet. Oh shit!

The first 10 days are the “Elimination” cycle, designed to help break addictions to things like sugar and alcohol (also to caffeine, nicotine, and any over the counter medications). I knew going in that it would be challenging, and that addictions I didn’t even know I had would likely come up and bite me in the ass. Have to say… haven’t been wrong so far. However, I'm somewhat surprised by what I'm finding to be most difficult.

I was raised on fast food. My father worked odd hours and my mother was a busy career woman who didn’t have a lot of time or patience to cook for a finicky child. Burger King, on the other hand, promised that without trouble I could have it MY way, and thus we visited a lot. Partially due to laziness, and partially due to the time constraints of my overly-scheduled life, I have continued my less than stellar drive-thru diet. I know it’s not wise, but it's easy, (and oh the price we pay for “convenience.”)

However, I didn’t grasp that my attachment to fast food went far beyond mindless routine and MSG-addiction, and had an emotional compontent until the other night. I had received a disturbing email, at the end of a long drama-filled work day, on top of Day 3 of a killer headache. Although stoicism is not really my nature, I held it together through class and the long drive home. However, fatigue won out, and I found myself in my kitchen, blurting out the whole onslaught of woes in snotty sobs. I collapsed into Tag's arms with this final note: “And I just want some meat…. And a COKE.”

Some people find ice cream and chocolate to be their comfort foods. Others salve their injuries with coffee and cigarettes. But apparently my "woobie" is Combo meal #2. A world of solace can be found sipping 32 oz of syrupy carbonated sweetness as the softly purring motor of the car sings a lullaby. It fills a lonely place in my heart that fresh daikon sprouts and beet juice just can’t touch. And silly as it sounds, without that blanket of numbness that chemicalized beef provides, I’m being forced to face feelings that I have been stuffing down for a very long time.

I’m sure that there will be more writing, more thinking, more purging before my 30 day hell is all said and done. But until then, remember this:

The world might be a safer place if I could just get some “biggie fries” STAT. *sigh*

The Great Turtle Race!

Are you watching?

For more than 100 million years, leatherback turtles have graced our oceans. At an astonishing eight feet long and up to 2,000 pounds, they journey between continents and dive to incredible depths. But in the last 10 years, 95% of the leatherbacks in the Pacific Ocean have vanished, victims of human pressures.

The Leatherback Trust, Tagging of Pacific Predators, Conservation International, Costa Rica?s Ministry of Environment and Energy, and Yahoo! invite you to join the Great Turtle Race. Follow 11 leatherback turtles on a two-week journey as they swim from their nesting sites on Playa Grande beach in Costa Rica to the Galapagos Islands.

Tag is rooting for Saphira (as sponsored by the Bullis Charter School). I adore both Genevive & Billie..... but I also love to root for the underdog. So today I'm putting my cheering power behind Drexelina, who has managed to get herself all turned around on the beach and is heading in the wrong direction. Send her the positive vibes, won't you? That way, she can get herself back on track and headed towards her home in the Galapagos Islands.

Soundtrack of My Life

My horoscope made comment of finding new music to inspire and motivate me. Oddly enough, about the same time, I ran across this meme in Amandarin's archives. (yes, sorry... another blog theft). I used this synchronicity as a prod to make me discover (or in some places re-discover) the tunes that move me, that have memories associated with them, or the ones that just light up my mind with visual images.

If your life was a movie, what would the soundtrack include?

The opening title: Female of the Species-- Space
The waking-up scene: Heavy in Numbers-- Dragster Barbie
The average day/menial tasks montage: One Angry Dwarf & 200 Solemn Faces-- Ben Folds Five
The secret crush: You look like Rain-- Morphine
The first date/blind date: Secret-- Maroon 5
The party: Alcohol-- BareNakedLadies
The dance sequence: Stand Up Fever-- Ludacris vs Peggy Lee Mash-up
The falling in love/"spark" scene: Can't help falling in love-- Elvis Presley
The lovemaking scene: Angel-- Massive Attack
The fight scene: Suck it up-- Die Warzau
The break-up: Vinager & Salt-- Hooverphonic
Long night alone: Wild is the Wind-- Nina Simone
The reconciliation: Call & Answer-- BareNakedLadies
The mental breakdown: Girl Anachronism-- The Dresden Dolls
The stalking: Touched-- VAST
The explosion/shoot-out: Beautiful People-- Marilyn Manson
The get-away/driving scene: Bad Blood-- Ministry
The learning-a-lesson montage: Grace Under Pressure-- Elbow
Deep thoughts: When I'm Down-- Chris Cornell
The flashback: Scenes from an Italian Restaurant-- Billy Joel
Regrets: Full of Grace-- Sarah McLachlan
The death scene: And Dream of Sheep-- Kate Bush
As the closing credits roll: But Not Tonight-- Depeche Mode.

Passive Agressive Catharsis 2007

A little over a year ago, Amandarin did a fabulous meme titled “Passive Aggressive Catharsis.” At the time, I contemplated doing the same, but didn’t feel in a safe place to do so. But as I’m about to start a month long detox, I find myself readying to get rid of what I no longer need. This includes things that need to be said, but never have been. And so…I now step up to the plate and play along.

List up to ten (10) things you want to say to ten (10) different people. Do not state who these people are. Do not confirm or deny any ‘comment speculation’.

1. Stop Whining! It’s not all about you, your job should not be your whole life, and WOW you are exhausting to be around.
2. I feel like you’ve already gone, and I know I’m going to miss you more than I’ll ever express.
3. I bet you still sit on your high horse thinking everyone else needs to sort out THEIR issues. Denial is a powerful thing.
4. 15 years later, I still remember your touch.
5. Thank you- for being here, for listening, for accepting me, for laughing with me. Endless thank yous.
6. When I leave, I replay our conversations in my head, just to make sure everything is still “ok”.
7. I did as asked and stopped communicating with you. But I cannot and will not ever forget you, or stop caring about you. Be well.
8. I wonder what you say about me when I’m not around.
9. Some of the lessons you taught me still scar me daily.
And lastly….
10. Still at the bottom of a bottle? It’s wrong I know, but sometimes I hope so. Because if you did for her what you flat out refused to do when I was around, then I’m PISSED. I have such mixed feelings about you. I miss you. I’m still angry at you. I wish I could apologize to you for the fact that when we were together, I was NOT in my best place. Some days I curse you. Some days I mock you. But on my best days, I remember you kindly and then release what we had to the Universe, trusting that the wind will blow blessings to you, erasing all the bad memories from us both, and leaving us with a faint but happy essence of what we once shared.

101 in 1001- Latest Update

I realized that it had been a while since I'd updated my list on line, and that lots had been accomplish (or changed) since my last posting. So I've made some updates on my progress


Read the latest 101 in 1001 here