Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Back from the Brink

Ladies & Gentlemen, please pardon my absence... but when they tell you that this years flu is a bitch, I suggest you believe them!

Actually, it wasn't the flu in my case, but an over-achieving sinus infection, which got into my ears (causing pain there) and dripped down my throat (causing bronchial issues). After running a fever of 102 - 103 for THREE days straight, I finally made it to the doctor to see if anything could be done. I'm on horsepill antibiotics and even those took several days to get rid of the fever. IN short, I didn't really show up for my last week of work... and I'm just now starting to act and feel like a human again.

I did make a point of arriving at my desk for 3 hours on my last day of employment. I sat, bundled to the 9's, feverish and coughing, finishing up the expense reports and items that I promised would be done before I left. And in the end, when i had that last "wrap up" conversation with the Big Dog, he still made a point of saying how my inability to accept change in the personnel of the department caused my frustrations. NO JACKASS, it was YOU!! YOU caused my frustration, with your lack of spine and your double-talk. With your inability to understand human nature or communicate with any sort of clarity, YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. Now Fuck off! I am done with you.

Wow... does THAT feel good to type! Healing comes in many ways, I'm discovering.

I'm also discovering that life without rules is challenging for a work-a-holic like myself. I don't let myself sleep in terribly much, because I know that leads to depression for me. Amandarin suggested finding an early morning yoga class to go to, and I think that's a stellar idea. IN the meantime, I'm researching jobs online, and waiting to hear if I've been accepted to the LA Zoo Volunteer training class. (I interviewed on Saturday.) I sent in my application for school, and am doing reading and research on various job options out there. Trying to find my bliss, as it were.

It's a beautiful day outside. No rain. The wind smells fresh and the sun looks warm. I believe I'll head out for a day of errands and figure out the rest as I go.


The Bizza said...

I'm glad you're feeling better. I probably sound like a broken record, but I applaud your efforst to find your true calling.

Honestly I'm envious of your courage to walk away from the corporate ratrace. Perhaps I'll sack-up and do the same someday.

And you're right... it is very clensing to write exactly how you feel. I've been known to speak my mind in this manner from time to time...

Good luck!

sabina said...

yergh- glad you are better. i think it's kind of poetic that you missed three days of your last week of work. somehow i think that feverish and achy as you were, it was still better than being there!


alsotooplus, make a point of changing out of yer jammies every morning even if you're not going out right away.

animal trainer!!! yip!

the slackmistress said...

OMG, I am so proud of you. What a huge change but good for you for going after what you want!

Jenn (she said) said...

Sorry you've been feeling awful. We just finished four days of one sick 6 1/2 year old. Illness, mine or that of someone who lives with me, sort of alters time. I can't believe you made it to your last day. I hope you're on the mend.

Good for you good for you good for you for pursuing your dream(s)! And thanks so much for keeping us posted on that process. It's so motivating!

Take care -
Jennifer (she said)

Jennifer (she said) said...

hey! all okay in your world?

xo jenn