Monday, August 08, 2005

Saving Private Benjamin

The other night, I was talking to the lovely Shazam, and telling her a brief bit of the jackassery that I have dealt with as of late.

Now, in my telling of the story, I feel I’ve come a long way. I handled the phone call with penache and style. Letting Jackass #312 have his say, but not letting it rile me or cause me strife. This is very different from how it would have affected me this same time last year.

But Shaz listened with the patience of a saint and then said something to the affect of (which is to say, I’m paraphrasing, because I don’t remember the actual words, but I want to convey what I felt I heard) “I want to hear this story when it finally goes like this…. Jackass starts talking, and Teece goes * mimes hanging up the phone. * No listening, no putting up with it.. just hang up. That’s the happy ending I want. You know, like in my story, the happy ending would be the Girl gets the Guy…. Well in your happy ending, you just hang the fuck up on that fucker.”

(right now, let me just say…. This was an awesome conversation with Shaz, and in the end, this is going to be a strong empowered post. So don’t ANYONE read this with ANY thought that Shaz offended me, or that I was annoyed at her comment. Cause I wasn’t!)

I heard in her words strength and concern and a great deal of love and respect for me. But for a moment I had this thought.

“THAT’s MY happy ending?!?!? You get the guy.. everyone else lives happily ever after… and I just get to be righteously mad and hang up?”

I let the moment pass, because again, I knew the healthy place that she was talking from and I get exactly why that ending is happy for the likes of me. But later, it crossed my mind again.

The happy ending at the end of my movie… is me. Just Me.

And I thought, “what kind a fucking movie is that? Who would want to see that shit?”
and then I remembered…
One of my favorite movies.
A movie I watch over and over because I LOVE the last scene… it makes me cry, it makes me laugh, it makes me want to jump up and cheer FUCK YEAH!

Private Benjamin

Yep… anyone else remember? She’s at her own wedding, about to marry a man who, while passionate, has treated her like shit. And on their wedding day, he’s late to the service because he’s (in bed) consoling his ex-girlfriend. And She gets mad about it. And she has a right to. But he belittles her. He treats her as if she should expect no better. He admits to fucking the maid and pretty much anyone else who crosses his path, but adds that when he met her, she was naught but a bimbo, pretty piece of ass who’d leap into bed with whatever took her fancy. He implies that she should consider herself lucky to be able to wed someone like him. And he calls her stupid.

And she takes that moment… that glorious moment… where she doesn’t worry about all the guests who have traveled for the wedding… or the cost of the gown… or the time she’s spent with the man. She takes that glorious moment of realizing that this is that turning point… where you stand up for yourself, or you sell yourself down the river. And she decks him!!


and she walks out the front door. She tears off the her bridal vail as her long red hair blows in the breeze… and she marches triumphantly down a tree lined street to some of the best closing credit music I have ever heard.

And you watch her walk away.

And you know she’s going to be alright.

Shaz… thank you! That’s the best goddam ending EVER.

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